I Will Never Be Your Kit
by Goldenbrow1
Summary: Sunpaw, a newly made apprentice, struggles to understand her "mothers". Will she discover he mystery behind her real parents? A challenge for NightClan.


"Sunkit, please come forward." Sunkit shivered with excitement. Her golden fur was groomed to perfection, even her ginger patches. Her ear-tips, tail-tip, paws, and eye patch, all the same ginger color, were gleaming. Even her white belly fur was smooth. Looking to her mother, Sunkit smiled nervously. Her mother, Nightscorch, nodded. The ginger she-cat, with black patches on her paws, tail-tip, ear-tips, muzzle, and around her left eye had a tendency to speak very little. But Sunkit took the nod as a good thing. Hazel eyes met blue ones as Sunkit bounded up to Cave Rock.

Applestar looked down at the tiny kit. Sunkit's hazel eyes sparkled. Clearing his throat, Applestar began, "Sunkit, you have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Sunpaw. Your mentor will be Heatherfur. I hope Heatherfur will pass down all she knows on to you. Heatherfur, please step forward." A sand colored she-cat with a white paw and tail-tip padded forward. "Heatherfur, you are ready to take on an apprentice. You had received excellent training from Thistletail, and you have shown yourself to be brave and clever. You will be the mentor of Sunpaw, and I expect you to pass on all you know to Sunpaw."

Stepping forward to touch noses with Heatherfur, Sunkit gulped nervously. Heatherfur smiled. "Don't worry, I'll look after you. You will be an amazing warrior someday." The two touched noses, and Sunkit's fears faded away.

"Sunpaw! Sunpaw! Sunpaw!" Sunpaw turned to her clanmates who were cheering her name. She blushed, ducking her head. Heatherfur put a tail around the nervous apprentice's shoulders. She smiled encouragingly at her, and Sunpaw looked up.

Nightscorch was the only cat not cheering. The ginger and black she-cat glared disapprovingly at Sunpaw. No, at _Heatherfur._ Sunpaw's cheerfulness vanished instantly. Looking at her mother quizzically, Sunpaw followed Heatherfur down from Cave Rock.

"Go see your brothers," Heatherfur said, padding over to her mate, Willowleap. Nodding, Sunpaw bounded over to Thornpaw and Bonepaw.

"Hello, _Sunpaw,_" Thornpaw said.

"Hiya, _Thornpaw,_" Sunpaw replied. Bonepaw, who was almost always silent like their mother, said nothing. "'Sup, _Bonepaw?_" Bonepaw merely grunted, before getting up and walking over to Willowleap, his mentor. They exchanged a few words, and then went out of camp together.

"THORNPAW!"

"That's Talonwhisker, I gotta go. See you later, Sunpaw." Thornpaw bounded away, exiting the camp with Talonwhisker. He smiled at Sunpaw, even giving her a tail-flick before he left. Sunpaw sighed. Where was Heatherfur?

Looking around, she saw Nightscorch walking purposefully towards Applestar. The she-cat was furious, Sunpaw could tell. She whispered angrily to the top, gesturing around the camp with her tail. Shaking his head, Applestar lead her into his den. A few moments later, he came out. Gesturing for Heatherfur, he went back into his den beneath Cave Rock. Sprinting over, Sunpaw skidded to a stop next to Heatherfur.

"Can we go tour the territory?" she asked.

"Not now, okay?" Heatherfur said in a tired voice.

"O-okay," Sunpaw said confusedly. Waiting until no cats were watching, she snuck into Applestar's den behind the sandy she-cat. Hiding behind a boulder, she perked her ears to listen to the conversation.

"What were you thinking, you mouse-brain, pairing Sunpaw with-with, that _fox-heart_?" Nightscorch said angrily. Sunpaw gasped. Her mother had never used such colorful language before, much less to her clanmate.

"There is no need for that, Nightscorch," Applestar said calmly. "Heatherfur will be a fine mentor for young Sunpaw. After all, she is-"

"Shut up, mouse-brain!" Nightscorch yowled. "That fox-hearted, lying, pitiful excuse for a cat is not her-"

"But I _am!_" cried Heatherfur. "I'm not proud of what I did, nor am I deserving at another chance to be close to her. But I do have this chance, and I am sorry, and I'm not about to let her go again!"

"Noble words for a piece of _crowfood._ She's as much use as a dead fox, all Sunpaw will learn is how to lie and cheat!" Nightscorch yowled, louder.

"Why, you're the liar! Telling the poor kit that _you're _her mother! I'm-"

"Oh, but I am her mother! I may not be her birth mother, but I'm a better mother than you'll ever be!" Sunpaw gasped. _Not my real mother? Who is then?_

"ENOUGH! The ceremony is complete, it is too late now. And Nightscorch, you will tell Sunpaw the truth by moonhigh. Is this clear?" Applestar paused. "And not a word is to be said to any of the cats." Sunpaw, tears in her eyes, slunk out of the den.

She ran out of camp, tears flowing down her face._ I trusted them and they lied to me. I don't want to see them, not after what they did._ She ran on and on, never stopping. After awhile, she smelled the Goldenclan border. She ran across it, into the wilderness beyond. Late in the afternoon, her tears dried up. But on she ran.

* * *

_I don't even know who my own mother is anymore._ Fresh tears leaked from her eyes.

_The woods is pretty today,_ she thought as she re-entered Goldenclan territory. She stopped next to a large rock, swiping her face with a ginger paw. Cleaning away the tear streaks. If only she could wipe away the sadness, the anger, the bitterness, and the desire for revenge on whomever had caused this mess so easily. When she was done, only her tired eyes, drooping whiskers, and un-kept fur revealed that she had spent the night away, dreaming nightmares of pure terror and bitterness.

Sighing quietly, she padded away from the rock. She pointed her paws in the direction of camp, and went straight there. Giving herself a moment to get her composure before entering, Sunpaw stopped just outside the gorse tunnel. An idea struck her suddenly, and she smiled a hint of a smile. Bounding away from the gorse tunnel with more energy than she'd had all day, she curled up next to the secret tunnel by the dirtplace. Closing her eyes, she was swept away by another horrible nightmare.

When she awoke, night had fallen. Knowing her clan would be worried sick, but not wanting to attract attention, Sunpaw decided to sneak in. Squeezing through the secret tunnel, she avoided dirt and slipped into a shadow. Her golden coat would stand out a bit, but it was the best cover she could get. Slinking around the long way, Sunpaw avoided the guard and did not wake elders or kits. Most of the warriors were gone, probably looking for her, but all the apprentices were in there nests.

Slipping in the den, Sunpaw made her way to the farthest corner. She stepped on Gorsepaw's tail, and the tom grunted in his sleep. The golden apprentice froze, ginger paw high in the air. But the sleeping cat did not wake, and she breathed a small sigh of relief. She found a place where she would be almost entirely sheltered from eyes: a large indention in the wall. It curved around to make almost a tunnel that was large enough for a small apprentice to curl up in. One of the walls shielded her from warriors looking in the cave, the other from apprentices in the cave. The "tunnel" formed a small curve, so you could enter from the front and still be shielded from prying eyes. Crossing her paws, Sunpaw curled up and fell promptly asleep.

* * *

She awoke to darkness. Frightened, she stood, smacking her head on the rock above her. Cursing under her breath, she remembered where she was.

Peeking out the opening, she saw no apprentices in the cave. She could see a little of the camp, and saw most everyone was gone, save the elders, kits, queens, and a few warriors. The warriors were on guard, and one was even stationed at the dirtplace tunnel. _They're here in case I come back,_ she thought.

Her belly rumbled loudly, reminding her that she hadn't eaten since the day of her ceremony. How many days ago was that? She shook her head. The days were all smudged together. Not counting the day she had left, this was the second day that her clan didn't know where she was. So, counting to half-days and a whole day, that was two days all together. Shaking her head, she padded out of the apprentice's den.

No more hiding. No more secrets. She grabbed two mice, her favorite, and brought them back to the apprentice's den. Eating them quickly, she wondered if any cats had seen her. It didn't look like it.

Padding out again, she looked at all the cats. They were grim faced and tense. Looking at the elders, she saw Foxflare, her role model, staring at her in shock. The elder beckoned her with a tail, and Sunpaw bounded over.

"Where have you been?" the elder hissed.

"Away from here," Sunpaw said bitterly. "Nightscorch- she's not my mother."

"_That's _why you ran away?" Foxflare said in awe. "You foolish kit! The whole clan's been worried sick! Your mother especially."

"I _told_ you, Nightscorch isn-"

"Not Nightscorch, mouse-brain, Heatherfur!"

"H-Heatherfur?" Sunpaw asked in a small voice.

Foxflare's expression softened. "You didn't know?" she asked softly.

"No," Sunpaw said sadly. "They hid it from me."

"Well, Heatherfur's mate, Willowleap, isn't your father."

"He's not?" Sunpaw hadn't even thought about her father. "Then who is?"

"Willowleap is Bonepaw and Thornpaw's father. Your father, Redheart, is now a loner."

"H-How did something like that happen?"

"Well, Redpaw and Heatherpaw were always the best of friends. And one day, still apprentices, they became mates. Heatherpaw became pregnant, and gave birth while out hunting. She didn't tell the clan, you see. Nightscorch, her best friend, also had a litter that day, with Willowleap. Those two had just become warriors, thank goodness. Well, it is...highly unsightly for an apprentice to have a kits, so Heatherpaw did the only sensible thing she could think of: she gave you and your sister to Nightscorch. Redpaw was mad. He thought that Heatherpaw should have kept you two, but she never really wanted kits. So when Heatherpaw became Heatherfur and Redpaw became Redheart, Redheart proposed that Nightscorch and him should be 'mates'. He wanted to be close to his kits, while Willowleap didn't care either way. So, they switched. The clan noticed, but both she-cats and toms denied everything. Until Willowleap became jealous. He truly did love Nightscorch, and he insisted Redheart be driven out of the clan when your sister went missing. Redheart left, but wanted to bring you. Applestar refused to allow it, and Redheart went peacefully. No one knows what happened to your sister. Or Redheart, although he has never troubled Goldenclan. So that is the story."

"Foxflare, who are you talking to over there?" one of the guards, Leafbreeze, asked.

"Sunpaw, dear," Foxflare replied.

"SUNPAW?!" Leafbreeze and the other guards ran over to the apprentice. The showered her with questions. "Where have you been?" "Where did you go?" "Why did you leave?" "How did you get back in?" Nightscorch, hearing the cry of "SUNPAW", ran into camp. She bounded over to her, showing her with licks.

"Where have you been, my kit?"

Sunpaw gazed coldly at Nightscorch. "I am not your kit." She padded away, never looking back. Heatherfur tried to talk to her as well, but Sunpaw continued to walk. "I am not your kit, either."

"And I never will be."


End file.
